Ballroom Republicans

Donald Trump has spent the last month reveling in his absolute control over the Republican Party. Whether it’s Indiana state senators who didn't see the point in redistricting, Kentucky Rep. Thomas Massie, who dared to insist on the release of the Epstein files, or Texas Sen. John Cornyn, who simply failed to be as vile as Trump’s favored candidate, the tiny bruised hand has slapped them all.

But while much of the media has focused on Trump’s ability to dictate the votes of the Republican base, few seem to have noted just how small that base has become. Headlines may blare that turnout in Texas was up 25% from the previous Senate primary. What they’re not saying is that Cornyn won that previous primary with essentially no competition. Or that the Democratic turnout was actually higher than the Republican turnout.

How fast is the Republican base shrinking? On March 3, over 2.1 million people voted in round one of the GOP primary. On May 26, despite a hotly contested runoff with over $10 million spent by the candidates and a late endorsement by Trump, fewer than 1.4 million pulled a lever.

The total percentage of voters who marched to the polls to put corruption poster boy Ken Paxton over the line was just 13% of registered Republicans. In one county that produced 9,000 votes for Trump in 2024, only 90 voters showed up to decide this contest. The number of voters who turned out for the finale of Cornyn v. Paxton was actually 300,000 fewer than those who showed up to select Cornyn in his 2020 walkover against no-names.

Remember way back in 2016 when every Republican from Lindsay Graham to Ted Cruz was warning that making Trump the Republican nominee would be the end of the party? They were right. There's no room for anyone in this party now except Trump and Trump worshippers, and the only place that's getting crowded is the exits.

All that's left are those who are willing to bow to Trump on anything. Those who are willing to ignore—or gleefully join in—on any level of corruption. Those who turn a blind eye to the fact that the resident of the White House is getting regular injections into his bruised hands and sleeping through cabinet meetings.

They are Ballroom Republicans.

For any Democratic candidate looking for a theme this fall, there it is. A campaign in two words: Ballroom Republicans.

Ballroom Republicans don't care that Trump is spending billions of taxpayer dollars to celebrate himself. They love the idea of sticking Trump's name on the Kennedy Center. On airports. On Interstates.

Ballroom Republicans want to see Trump's face everywhere. On giant banners outside federal buildings. On a $1 coin. On a gold coin. On a completely useless $250 bill.

Ballroom Republicans can't wait for Trump's $200 million bulletproof dance palace. Sorry, make that $250 million. Excuse me, I meant $300 million. You know what? Make it $400 million. All at no expense to taxpayers! Except for $1 billion. Totally worth it since it will be equipped with attack drones and snipers to keep the hoi polloi at bay while the worthy cha cha the night away!

Ballroom Republicans crave every ticky-tacky bit of gold fru-fru he's sticking on the walls of the White House. They love how Trump is raiding the National Park Service for $5 million so he can slap gold plate on a set of bronze horses for his self-congratulatory monument. They adore the Thunderdome he erected on the White House lawn.

Ballroom Republicans are all for the $1.3 billion he skimmed for his fake "Board of Peace." And the $400 million plane-shaped bribe he took from the UAE. And the $1 billion that the government is spending to fix that plane up for him.

Ballroom Republicans don't care about Trump's 3,700 stock trades during a single year in office. Or that he bought stock in Intel before giving them $8.9 billion in taxpayer money. Or that he bought stock in Dell before it got a $9.7 billion government contract. Or that he bought stock in UFC before staging that cage match on the White House lawn.

Ballroom Republicans don't care about the $1.8 billion slush fund Trump illegally created for his friends. After all, since the names of those who are paid can be kept secret, he can always cut them a little something-something for their support.

Ballroom Republicans love how Trump's crypto scam opens an unprecedented way for foreign investors to secretly control the U.S. government. They're crazy about the idea of putting money taken from Venezuela into an offshore account with Trump's name on it.

Ballroom Republicans can't wait to put on their tuxes and go to the everlasting golden prom. This November, it's past time they got stood up.