He eats meat and ferments

(An old whaler's song, author unknown.)

When I was on land
I once met a man
Named Bobby Kennedy

He was near a cadaver,
But oh could he blather
'bout health and policy.

His face was a'weathered,
Demeanor untethered,
His eyes were cold and dim.

But he told me unbidden
The secrets he'd hidden
If you want to be like him.

(chorus)
I eat meat and ferments.
It's only common sense.
Salami and cheese
Can fend off most disease
And beer, gin and wine
Never can be outshined.

I owe my buff physique
To nutritional technique.
Life's too short to chew,
so here's what I do,
I wait 'til it ferments.
(end chorus)

He eats yogurt and cheese,
And lots of kimchi,
And vinegar, pickles and whole salamis.

He'll have miso and natto
and douchi and douzhi,
But for measles or mumps he would recommend brie.

There's kombucha, tepache,
and don't forget lassi
And boza and chichi too.

When he's feeling cross
He'll grab Worcestershire sauce
And drink until it's through!

(chorus)
We eat meat and ferments.
It's only common sense.
To maximize power
Cream's gotta be sour,
And always have tallow
Instead of sunflower.

If polio breaks out,
We'll have some sauerkraut.
If it's for our lunch
Make sure that it don't crunch
Cause we'll only eat ferments.

(chorus 2)
We eat meat and ferments.
It's only common sense.
No fruits or vegetables will do
Unless they've been kegged for a year or two.

We learned to be healthy
From Bobby Kennedy.
Remember his name
'Cause he's destined for fame.
He eats meat and ferments!