Trump fires Kristi Noem like a dog

Well, that's the end of the Kristi Noem era. After enduring blistering attacks from Democratic and Republican senators, Department of Homeland Security Secretary Noem will be leaving her post to pursue—God, who even knows. All we know for sure is that Donald Trump just fired her.

"Like a dog," as he would say. And by social media post.

Trump was reportedly furious with Noem over her performance during this week's congressional hearings, hearings in which Noem dodged questions about her relationship with boytoy aide Corey Lewandowski, her prior false assertions that two murdered Minnesotan ICE observers were "domestic terrorists," and her $220 million ad campaign highlighting mostly herself.

That ad campaign appears to be what infuriated Trump the most.

The president was particularly frustrated by Noem’s response when she was repeatedly asked about her role in approving contracts, specifically a $220 million ad campaign to encourage immigrants to self-deport, the sources said. U.S. Sen. John Kennedy, R-La., described Trump as “pissed.”

At one point during questioning, Noem told Kennedy that Trump knew about her decision to approve the ad campaign contracts — an answer that did not sit well with the president, the sources said. The ad contracts went out through a process that limited competitive bidding.

A White House official told NBC News that the president did not sign off on the ad campaign.

Kennedy told reporters he had spoken with the president about the exchange.

“The president of the United States called me, and I’m not going to speak for him, folks, but, I would put it this way: his recollection and her recollection are different.”

During his first term, Trump was famously prickly whenever one of his underlings appeared to be getting more attention than he was. The thought of Noem spending nearly a quarter billion dollars to put her own face on the airwaves, not his own, probably rankled him far more than lawmakers' growing suspicions that the main no-bid contract involved was a corrupt passthrough to Noem allies.

Noem telling senators that he had approved of those ads may have been the last straw for Trump. Whatever the case, she's out. Trump's invention of a new do-nothing role for Noem to be packed off to is familiar; it allows him to save face rather than admitting he picked a loser for a top administration position, one who went on to do embarrassing loser things.

Trump's choice of Oklahoma Sen. Markwayne Mullin as replacement is also a typical Trump move. Mullin is known as the Markwaynest man in the Senate or, alternatively, the stupidest—though the latter distinction is far more up for grabs. Mullin is, unambiguously, a thickheaded nobody who is steered around by his tie and MAGA hat.

Oh yeah, this'll go great. But it also seems almost inevitable; Trump can only stomach the dimmest and most toadying of allies, so here comes Mullin. His appointment to the role, while likely to be approved by his fellow senators, is certain to be as catastrophic as Noem's own.

It is not yet clear whether Corey Lewandowski will be leaving with Noem or whether he will instead remain a fixture of the newest DHS jet. If Markwayne needs to pry him out of the thing, he might ask Sen. Tim Sheehy for a hand.